I picked up the first book in Stephanie Meyer's 'Twilight' series a few weeks ago, and read most of it in the space of one (long) afternoon. I had suspected, from reading the reviews on Amazon, that I would probably not like the book. I wanted to read it, however, because it's something of a publishing phenomenon and I have a bunch of nieces who are smack bang in the middle of the 'Twilight' demographic.
Firstly, I'm going to say up-front that 'Twilight' is an easy read. It'd be a great book for a plane trip, or for a 'the weather's crap outside and I have nothing else to do' kind of day - you get immersed in the story straight away, the narrative moves fairly quickly, and the language used is pretty light. It's not the most stunningly written artistic piece of literature ever written, but it is aimed at teenagers.
Now - onto my whinges about 'Twilight!' (Oooooh goody - the fun part!).
It really is THE most appalling piece of Mary-Sue writing that I think I've ever read. Bella, the protaganist, is a fairly ordinary teenaged girl, who has 'never had a boyfriend' and describes her appearance as non-remarkable (although she totally notices how boys want her). And yet, Edward, her vampire love interest, is completely obsessed with her.
This isn't so much a criticism, as it is perhaps an understanding of why the book has such massive appeal with teenage girls, and why they might see Bella as a main character they can identify with. I think the logic goes something like this....
"OMG, Bella is SO like me! She's a good student, and doesn't think she's pretty! And boys don't chase her! That is, except that totally hot vampire-guy Edward... It takes a superhuman, otherworldly, totally hot, immortal special creature of the night to truly recognise Bella's special special-ness, because ORDINARY boys are too ORDINARY to understand her!"
That's okay. I think most teenage girls feel unpretty and unrecognised. And my imagination runs along very similar lines every time I fantasise about Viggo Mortenson. So I can empathise. Really.
The more disturbing aspect of the novel, is that it seems to eroticise the dynamic of a violent relationship. Edward is often at pains to point out to Bella how physically dangerous he is to her, but she seems to almost get off on the fact that he loves her enough to constantly fight his blood-sucking, murderous natural impulses and not er, kill her... What's more, the fact that he could turn into a lethal madman at the sight or smell of spilt blood seems to make Bella think that this just makes the whole thing all the more sexy and verboten and blah blah. Seriously, he could just SNAP!! At ANY MOMENT!!! Actually, it just occurs to me as I'm writing this that the author never suggests what might happen anytime Bella gets her period...? But that would mean having to deal with that icky sex stuff...
It's important to note, in this context, that Meyer is a devout Mormon, and I have no doubt that this also bears a heavy influence on her narrative. Traditionally in vampire literature, the vampiric bite is metaphor for penetrative sex. Ergo Edward's abstinence from 'biting' Bella represents abstinence in a more general sense. How romantic! He loves and respects Bella enough to resist his natural urges and NOT bite/penetrate her! How convenient that he gets to declare his pure and undying love for Bella, but he'll never actually do anything as gross as getting his scary man-penis out of his pants and having sex with her, or ejaculating, or all the rest of that 'unclean' stuff that will cast a stain upon Bella's purity.
It is, for what it's worth, a fairly clever telling of the vampire fantasy to represent the sexual dilemma of teenage girls. Boys are seen as something to get excited about, and emergent sexuality makes the whole thing terribly exhilirating, but at the same time there is a sense of danger regarding the actual consequences of what happens if you get 'too close' to a guy ie actual sex. Sex, in all of its wonderful, messy sexy goodness is still seen as something dangerous if one isn't emotionally or physically equipped for it - as some teenaged girls might not be.
I guess my overall impression of the book could be summed up with - meh. I won't be reading the rest of the series.
Thursday, November 27, 2008
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
The Fairy-Girl's Rough Guide to Buying Dirty Movies
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Monday, August 25, 2008
An uncomfortable sense of deja vu...
This week's top sporting headline sees yet another footballer embroiled in a case of assault.
The perp this time is Cronulla player Greg Bird, who has allegedly glassed his girlfriend in the face, leaving her in hospital and waiting to have surgery on her eye-socket.
If this isn't bad enough, he's also colluded with his manager and solicitor to pin it on his so-called 'friend', Brent 'Patsy' Watson.
I barely know where to begin with pointing out what is wrong with this picture. A word of advice to Brent Watson first...
Brent - a man who commits a violent crime against his girlfriend, and then attempts to get you to take the rap for it and cop a criminal record in the process, is not a friend or a mate. The correct word for a person in your life who does this is 'arsehole.' And if you help him out of this one, you're perpetuating the idea that Greg getting to play sport next weekend is more important than the fact he committed a violent crime.
I'm also disgusted by the efforts of people around Bird to help him weasel his way out of this. Where the hell are people's priorities? One would think that more effort to make sure his (hopefully about to be ex) partner has somewhere to go and appropriate support at this time would take more importance than helping a criminal wriggle off the hook.
I know I'm living in a dream world here. Not a single footballer has done jail time over the last decade, despite all the various assaults and acts of thuggery they've been implicated in. I would love to see the legal system prove me wrong, but I doubt that anything is going to change in this case. What's more, statistics would indicate that the first thing Ms Milligan will do when being discharged from hospital is run straight back to Bird in order to try and 'sort things out.'
I don't have anything particularly bad to say about football players as individuals. I work out at the same gym as half the Carlton AFL team, and although they are predictably noisy and boisterous, and swear a blue streak when talking between themselves, they are always unfailingly polite to me. But when a football code closes ranks in order to protect one fucktard in the group, it only helps them get away with it.
Bullshit.
The perp this time is Cronulla player Greg Bird, who has allegedly glassed his girlfriend in the face, leaving her in hospital and waiting to have surgery on her eye-socket.
If this isn't bad enough, he's also colluded with his manager and solicitor to pin it on his so-called 'friend', Brent 'Patsy' Watson.
I barely know where to begin with pointing out what is wrong with this picture. A word of advice to Brent Watson first...
Brent - a man who commits a violent crime against his girlfriend, and then attempts to get you to take the rap for it and cop a criminal record in the process, is not a friend or a mate. The correct word for a person in your life who does this is 'arsehole.' And if you help him out of this one, you're perpetuating the idea that Greg getting to play sport next weekend is more important than the fact he committed a violent crime.
I'm also disgusted by the efforts of people around Bird to help him weasel his way out of this. Where the hell are people's priorities? One would think that more effort to make sure his (hopefully about to be ex) partner has somewhere to go and appropriate support at this time would take more importance than helping a criminal wriggle off the hook.
I know I'm living in a dream world here. Not a single footballer has done jail time over the last decade, despite all the various assaults and acts of thuggery they've been implicated in. I would love to see the legal system prove me wrong, but I doubt that anything is going to change in this case. What's more, statistics would indicate that the first thing Ms Milligan will do when being discharged from hospital is run straight back to Bird in order to try and 'sort things out.'
I don't have anything particularly bad to say about football players as individuals. I work out at the same gym as half the Carlton AFL team, and although they are predictably noisy and boisterous, and swear a blue streak when talking between themselves, they are always unfailingly polite to me. But when a football code closes ranks in order to protect one fucktard in the group, it only helps them get away with it.
Bullshit.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
Acne sucks, but abortions are evil.
I was left laughing my head off reading this article in the SMH, titled 'Acne drug 'may lead to more abortions.''
The upshot of this one is that extending prescribing rights of Roaccutane to GP's is going to lead to a sudden up-surge in young women seeking abortions. Come again? A brief note about Roaccutane, if you bear with me.
Roaccutane is basically a massive dose of Vitamin A, and it is very effective in treating certain kinds of acne. But Vitamin A, in large doses, also causes birth defects. For this reason, females prescribed Roaccutane are also put on the oral contraceptive pill as a matter of course - because you CANNOT be pregnant while taking Roaccutane.
Presumably, any GP's looking at prescribing Roaccutane for a patient would be issued with such a strict guideline, and hopefully anyone smart enough to qualify in medicine would be able to retain this rather large and important piece of information. Roaccutane - contraindicated in pregnancy. Not so tricky, is it?
However, Dr Stephen Shumack, who is head of the Australasian College of Dermatologists, manages to come out with this stupefying piece of logic;
"The college fears that appropriate people may not be given it, inappropriate people may be given it, and the side-effects may not be managed appropriately.
"And, overall, far more people will be given it, which increases the risk of pregnancies, especially if this is not properly screened for, and then there's more abortions."
What the...? Increase in prescriptions for acne medication have a direct causal link to an increase in rates of conception? At any rate, I doubt that a dermatologist is likely to have any greater skill in 'properly screening' for pregnancy than a GP would do. And I would think that a risk of unwanted pregnancy would be substantially LOWER in a sector of the population who were given explicit information about, and access to, various methods of contraception, than it would in the wider populace.
Yes, Roaccutane is associated with some unpleasant side effects and there is no doubt it should be a prescription-only medication, and not avaialble as an over-the-counter option at the pharmacy. But not everyone in Australia lives in an area where access to a dermatologist is easily available - and that doesn't preclude them from having problems with acne. If I was sixteen years old and living four hours away from the nearest prescribing dermatologist, and my social development and confidence was being hampered by a severe case of acne, I would damn well hope I could get something from my GP that is proven to actually work.
Methinks that Dr Shumack may well be whipping out the old 'ABORTIONS ARE VERY BAD' public moral panic whisk in order to hang onto what is likely to be a lucrative part of private medical practice.
The upshot of this one is that extending prescribing rights of Roaccutane to GP's is going to lead to a sudden up-surge in young women seeking abortions. Come again? A brief note about Roaccutane, if you bear with me.
Roaccutane is basically a massive dose of Vitamin A, and it is very effective in treating certain kinds of acne. But Vitamin A, in large doses, also causes birth defects. For this reason, females prescribed Roaccutane are also put on the oral contraceptive pill as a matter of course - because you CANNOT be pregnant while taking Roaccutane.
Presumably, any GP's looking at prescribing Roaccutane for a patient would be issued with such a strict guideline, and hopefully anyone smart enough to qualify in medicine would be able to retain this rather large and important piece of information. Roaccutane - contraindicated in pregnancy. Not so tricky, is it?
However, Dr Stephen Shumack, who is head of the Australasian College of Dermatologists, manages to come out with this stupefying piece of logic;
"The college fears that appropriate people may not be given it, inappropriate people may be given it, and the side-effects may not be managed appropriately.
"And, overall, far more people will be given it, which increases the risk of pregnancies, especially if this is not properly screened for, and then there's more abortions."
What the...? Increase in prescriptions for acne medication have a direct causal link to an increase in rates of conception? At any rate, I doubt that a dermatologist is likely to have any greater skill in 'properly screening' for pregnancy than a GP would do. And I would think that a risk of unwanted pregnancy would be substantially LOWER in a sector of the population who were given explicit information about, and access to, various methods of contraception, than it would in the wider populace.
Yes, Roaccutane is associated with some unpleasant side effects and there is no doubt it should be a prescription-only medication, and not avaialble as an over-the-counter option at the pharmacy. But not everyone in Australia lives in an area where access to a dermatologist is easily available - and that doesn't preclude them from having problems with acne. If I was sixteen years old and living four hours away from the nearest prescribing dermatologist, and my social development and confidence was being hampered by a severe case of acne, I would damn well hope I could get something from my GP that is proven to actually work.
Methinks that Dr Shumack may well be whipping out the old 'ABORTIONS ARE VERY BAD' public moral panic whisk in order to hang onto what is likely to be a lucrative part of private medical practice.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Girl (maybe) gets laid, makes headlines....
I can't believe this story is still getting grift in the news press.
I don't give a crap about what Tania Zaetta may or may not have done with some men in uniform while touring in Afghanistan. If anything, I actually hope she did have sex with a few of those hot soldier guys - I know would've, in her shoes. What the hell is the big deal anyway? The 'allegations' are that she may have had consensual sex with one or more other consenting individuals - it's not a murder rap, people.
Yes, it's shitty and unfair that these statements about Ms Zaetta's possible sexual proclivities ever made news. But I also feel that Tania's decision to sue The Daily Terror for damages to her professional and personal reputation is pretty much what people mean when they say; "You don't have to make a federal case out of it." I would have considerably more sympathy and respect for her if she had just said at the time; "It shouldn't matter if I lined up the entire SAS and fellated the whole lot of them - the real point is, it's nobody's business."
The whole thing just looks like a grown-up version of shaming a girl in the school-yard by calling her a 'slut' for daring to have any sort of sexual agency. I wish Ms Zaetta the best of luck, and hope her court action gives her the closure she seeks.
I don't give a crap about what Tania Zaetta may or may not have done with some men in uniform while touring in Afghanistan. If anything, I actually hope she did have sex with a few of those hot soldier guys - I know would've, in her shoes. What the hell is the big deal anyway? The 'allegations' are that she may have had consensual sex with one or more other consenting individuals - it's not a murder rap, people.
Yes, it's shitty and unfair that these statements about Ms Zaetta's possible sexual proclivities ever made news. But I also feel that Tania's decision to sue The Daily Terror for damages to her professional and personal reputation is pretty much what people mean when they say; "You don't have to make a federal case out of it." I would have considerably more sympathy and respect for her if she had just said at the time; "It shouldn't matter if I lined up the entire SAS and fellated the whole lot of them - the real point is, it's nobody's business."
The whole thing just looks like a grown-up version of shaming a girl in the school-yard by calling her a 'slut' for daring to have any sort of sexual agency. I wish Ms Zaetta the best of luck, and hope her court action gives her the closure she seeks.
Friday, July 25, 2008
Crapping on about sexuality...
The posted clip of Martha Wainwright earlier this month has really had me thinking about the concept of 'looking sexy' versus actually 'being sexual.'
All bodies have the wonderful capacity to both give and experience the joys of sexual pleasure. This concept seems like a complete no-brainer, and conceptually I've understood it for a looooong time. I'm a smart girl, I've read 'The Beauty Myth!' I get it!
But I've also been out with guys who engaged in sex as power play, and rolled their eyes and told me I was 'boring' in bed if I refused anal sex. I've had boyfriends in their early twenties who had been with a lot of girls, yet with limited sexual knowledge who asked me if I had 'a physical problem' when they realised I wouldn't come from straight intercourse. I've stood in an upmarket bar in Sydney at a girlfriend's birthday gathering, trying to pretend I belonged in a sea of tanned cleavages and glossy, GHD-styled hair while two guys held a conversation over the top of my head (as I tried to chat with them) about which girls in the group they thought were 'hot' and wanted to try and 'do.' I have definitely had my share of experiences where I have been relegated to being a sexual non-entity due to not looking or behaving the way 'sexy' is supposed to look and behave.
I know I'm pretty fortunate in the looks department. I have no complaints about my physical lot in this life. But I am short, pale, and dark-haired, with small breasts and have been regarded as 'too skinny' by myself and others for much of my thirty years. I don't wax, get manicures, wear high heels (except on special occasions where I expect to be doing a LOT of sitting down), lighten my hair, fake tan, wear g-strings or push-up bras, and I don't think I look especially good in a bikini. And actually, I don't think doing any of those things would make my orgasms any better.
Because I do have great sex. It's taken me a long time to stop putting on an act in bed of what I thought great sex should look like, as opposed to just experiencing what should be a mutual exchange of absolute pleasure (and sometimes love). I don't feel like I have to prove a point about being a 'wild and crazy girl' in the sack in order to manufacture sexual allure - it's innate in all people anyway, and the best sex happens when the chemistry is just right.
I wish I'd known this level of ease in my twenties when I was dating and, well... sleeping around. I'd have suffered less anxiety over my appearance both in social situations, and with my clothes off. I'd have been less likely to put up with guys who tried to imply it was somehow a failing on my part if they had no idea what they were doing. I'd have suffered less embarrassment over what I did and didn't like in bed. I'd have been much stronger and more assertive about saying no, and about saying yes.
Every person's sexuality is a continual evolution of their most personal self, and most personal beliefs. Sexuality isn't a commodified product that one can purchase and put on, and it's not a sport to be mastered. I wish I could neatly tie this entry up into a proper conclusion, but I expect that my lack of ability to do so is reflective of the subject matter. There is no current conclusion, because my development as a person, and by extension, my development as a sexual person, is ongoing...
PS I am absolutely not trying to imply that beautiful girls in their 20's with manicures, fake tans and highlighted hair who wear high heels and g-strings don't enjoy their sex lives. I'm sure they do! I only attempt to relay my own experience in this post. Cheers.
All bodies have the wonderful capacity to both give and experience the joys of sexual pleasure. This concept seems like a complete no-brainer, and conceptually I've understood it for a looooong time. I'm a smart girl, I've read 'The Beauty Myth!' I get it!
But I've also been out with guys who engaged in sex as power play, and rolled their eyes and told me I was 'boring' in bed if I refused anal sex. I've had boyfriends in their early twenties who had been with a lot of girls, yet with limited sexual knowledge who asked me if I had 'a physical problem' when they realised I wouldn't come from straight intercourse. I've stood in an upmarket bar in Sydney at a girlfriend's birthday gathering, trying to pretend I belonged in a sea of tanned cleavages and glossy, GHD-styled hair while two guys held a conversation over the top of my head (as I tried to chat with them) about which girls in the group they thought were 'hot' and wanted to try and 'do.' I have definitely had my share of experiences where I have been relegated to being a sexual non-entity due to not looking or behaving the way 'sexy' is supposed to look and behave.
I know I'm pretty fortunate in the looks department. I have no complaints about my physical lot in this life. But I am short, pale, and dark-haired, with small breasts and have been regarded as 'too skinny' by myself and others for much of my thirty years. I don't wax, get manicures, wear high heels (except on special occasions where I expect to be doing a LOT of sitting down), lighten my hair, fake tan, wear g-strings or push-up bras, and I don't think I look especially good in a bikini. And actually, I don't think doing any of those things would make my orgasms any better.
Because I do have great sex. It's taken me a long time to stop putting on an act in bed of what I thought great sex should look like, as opposed to just experiencing what should be a mutual exchange of absolute pleasure (and sometimes love). I don't feel like I have to prove a point about being a 'wild and crazy girl' in the sack in order to manufacture sexual allure - it's innate in all people anyway, and the best sex happens when the chemistry is just right.
I wish I'd known this level of ease in my twenties when I was dating and, well... sleeping around. I'd have suffered less anxiety over my appearance both in social situations, and with my clothes off. I'd have been less likely to put up with guys who tried to imply it was somehow a failing on my part if they had no idea what they were doing. I'd have suffered less embarrassment over what I did and didn't like in bed. I'd have been much stronger and more assertive about saying no, and about saying yes.
Every person's sexuality is a continual evolution of their most personal self, and most personal beliefs. Sexuality isn't a commodified product that one can purchase and put on, and it's not a sport to be mastered. I wish I could neatly tie this entry up into a proper conclusion, but I expect that my lack of ability to do so is reflective of the subject matter. There is no current conclusion, because my development as a person, and by extension, my development as a sexual person, is ongoing...
PS I am absolutely not trying to imply that beautiful girls in their 20's with manicures, fake tans and highlighted hair who wear high heels and g-strings don't enjoy their sex lives. I'm sure they do! I only attempt to relay my own experience in this post. Cheers.
Friday, July 11, 2008
Advertising my Friendship Services
I’ve just recently moved to Melbourne due to a job relocation, and although I love it here I don’t really know anyone, so I am offering my services for friendship, to anyone who has a gap to fill in their social circle!
A bit about me: I am a 30-year-old female Capricorn, and I enjoy the company of other women of pretty much any age. I’m aware that ‘30’ makes me seem frighteningly mature (to me), but I actually have managed to resist most trappings of ‘adultification.’ I rent a small but cute apartment, and I live alone, so I have no flatmates to contend with if I wish to allow friends to crash out on the couch! My politics are distinctly leftist, and I subscribe to a ‘sex-positive’ brand of feminism. I consider myself fun and easy to be around, a good listener, and a supportive and loyal friend. I live in the inner north-west of Melbourne, and although I don’t own a car, I am handy to the city, and to the suburbs of Collingwood, Fitzroy, Brunswick and Carlton. I have no issues with addiction or substance abuse, and have never been in trouble with the law (not so much as a parking fine here!).
What’s in it for you: I enjoy hosting friends in my own home, so I usually have wine on hand for visitors, and I enjoy cooking for others. I am a good cook, and I studied naturopathy for some time, so I can cater easily (and tastily!) for most dietary requirements. I have a large collection of books that I am very non-stuffy about lending out, and I generally prefer playing music to watching TV. I also have the entire ‘Sex and the City’ TV series on DVD, for repeated viewings at girly gatherings! I have a steady boyfriend who I love very much, so I will be unlikely to disrupt any ‘man dynamics’ on a night out. I love shopping for homewares in second-hand and retro furniture stores, and this is only equalled by my love for shopping for make-up! I am emotionally low-maintenance, and can usually be relied on to be a fun and goofy companion in a variety of social situations.
Stuff I like: Books on human sexuality, being up-to-date on current events, vintage clothing, jeans, flat shoes, doing cross-stitch, making earrings, sex toys, positivity, self-responsibility, Audrey Hepburn, art, Vogue and Rolling Stone magazines, floor cushions, glitter, candles, apple martinis, Oolong tea with dark chocolate, fresh flowers, kitty cats, the smell of rain on hot concrete, lip balm, sleeping in, bananas.
Stuff I can do without: Racism, intolerance, whinging, chewing gum, breast implants, the politics of John Howard, Scarlett Johansson, wearing a bra, bad coffee, sexism, doing the dishes, stepping in dog-poo, that ‘Tully’ book by Paullina Simmons, Hinder, irresponsible sexual health practices, and home decorating palettes based around the colour beige.
If you have further questions, would like references, or would like to see a photo, please feel free to email me on urban.fairygirl@gmail.com I look forward to hearing from you and taking our communication to the next level in the friendship journey!
A bit about me: I am a 30-year-old female Capricorn, and I enjoy the company of other women of pretty much any age. I’m aware that ‘30’ makes me seem frighteningly mature (to me), but I actually have managed to resist most trappings of ‘adultification.’ I rent a small but cute apartment, and I live alone, so I have no flatmates to contend with if I wish to allow friends to crash out on the couch! My politics are distinctly leftist, and I subscribe to a ‘sex-positive’ brand of feminism. I consider myself fun and easy to be around, a good listener, and a supportive and loyal friend. I live in the inner north-west of Melbourne, and although I don’t own a car, I am handy to the city, and to the suburbs of Collingwood, Fitzroy, Brunswick and Carlton. I have no issues with addiction or substance abuse, and have never been in trouble with the law (not so much as a parking fine here!).
What’s in it for you: I enjoy hosting friends in my own home, so I usually have wine on hand for visitors, and I enjoy cooking for others. I am a good cook, and I studied naturopathy for some time, so I can cater easily (and tastily!) for most dietary requirements. I have a large collection of books that I am very non-stuffy about lending out, and I generally prefer playing music to watching TV. I also have the entire ‘Sex and the City’ TV series on DVD, for repeated viewings at girly gatherings! I have a steady boyfriend who I love very much, so I will be unlikely to disrupt any ‘man dynamics’ on a night out. I love shopping for homewares in second-hand and retro furniture stores, and this is only equalled by my love for shopping for make-up! I am emotionally low-maintenance, and can usually be relied on to be a fun and goofy companion in a variety of social situations.
Stuff I like: Books on human sexuality, being up-to-date on current events, vintage clothing, jeans, flat shoes, doing cross-stitch, making earrings, sex toys, positivity, self-responsibility, Audrey Hepburn, art, Vogue and Rolling Stone magazines, floor cushions, glitter, candles, apple martinis, Oolong tea with dark chocolate, fresh flowers, kitty cats, the smell of rain on hot concrete, lip balm, sleeping in, bananas.
Stuff I can do without: Racism, intolerance, whinging, chewing gum, breast implants, the politics of John Howard, Scarlett Johansson, wearing a bra, bad coffee, sexism, doing the dishes, stepping in dog-poo, that ‘Tully’ book by Paullina Simmons, Hinder, irresponsible sexual health practices, and home decorating palettes based around the colour beige.
If you have further questions, would like references, or would like to see a photo, please feel free to email me on urban.fairygirl@gmail.com I look forward to hearing from you and taking our communication to the next level in the friendship journey!
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